Memorial Day, observed annually on the last Monday of May, serves as a solemn time for Americans to remember and honor military personnel who have died in service to the U.S.
While backyard barbecues and family gatherings have become part of the long holiday weekend, organizations and veterans’ groups remind citizens that specific traditions and etiquette should be followed during the commemoration.
Why It Matters
For many Americans, Memorial Day marks the unofficial start of summer, but the day’s original purpose is far more significant: honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice.
Misunderstandings and misplaced gestures, such as wishing others a “Happy Memorial Day” or conflating the observance with Veterans Day, can undermine the day’s gravity.
As communities nationwide resume gatherings and traditional celebrations, veterans’ groups stress the importance of preserving the integrity of Memorial Day’s meaning for current and future generations.
Jacquelyn Martin/AP
What To Know
Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, began after the Civil War in 1868 as a time to honor the fallen by placing flowers on their graves and specifically to commemorate those who died defending the country—a tradition that has since expanded to honor all U.S. military members lost in service.
When respectfully observing and participating in the commemoration of the day, here are some things to consider.
Do:
- Observe the National Moment of Remembrance, which is usually at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day, where Americans are encouraged to pause for a minute of silence to honor the fallen.
- Visit cemeteries or memorials: individuals may honor service members by laying flowers or flags at cemeteries, especially military resting places, where many graves often go undecorated.
- Wearing red, white and blue, but not using the American flag as decoration: the flag is not meant to be worn as an accessory, so show your patriotism through a red, white and blue color scheme in your outfit.
- Support veteran organizations: while the day honors the fallen, donating to groups helping living veterans can extend respect and gratitude beyond the holiday.
- Educate yourself about the day by learning more about the day’s history and sharing stories of those who served and died, to help preserve its significance within families and communities.
- Tune in to the National Memorial Day Concert on Sunday, May 24 at 8 p.m. ET.
Don’t:
- Do not say “Happy Memorial Day:” veterans and organizations caution that the phrase is inappropriate, as the holiday is for somber remembrance, not celebration.
- Do not thank current troops for their service as Memorial Day honors the fallen and Veterans Day recognizes all veterans. -While thanking the living on this day is well-intentioned, it may conflate the observances.
- Do not let commercialization overtake meaning: while sales and barbecues are common, some warn against allowing these to eclipse the day’s true intent.
- Do not let politics detract from tribute: differences in views on war or government policies should not interfere with respecting those who died in service.
- Do not use the flag as clothing.
While it is customary for Americans to gather for picnics, sports, and barbecues, many groups emphasize blending these celebrations with moments of reflection.
For example, families can dedicate a table or moment to honor fallen service members before meals or integrate stories and memory-sharing alongside festivities.
What People Are Saying
VA Secretary Doug Collins said: “Every day throughout the year, VA plays a vital role in remembering and honoring the brave service members who gave their lives in defense of the freedoms America holds dear. This Memorial Day weekend, we invite Americans to visit VA cemeteries and join us in reflecting upon the important legacies of these fallen heroes.”
What Happens Next
More than 130 Memorial Day public ceremonies hosted by the Department of Veterans Affairs at VA National cemeteries will be happening across the U.S. between May 23-26, 2025.
Regular updates and related veteran benefits news can be found on the VA’s website and communications outlets. Be sure to confirm event dates and timings with the VA before attending as listings published here may have changed for reasons including adverse weather conditions.
